VolksWagon VS Terrorism

Loin Life (Pant has moved to San Francisco )

I'm here.

I would like to start by apologizing for not posting EVER.
especially the post about the Thomas Kincade edition Lincoln Navigator: Im sure it would have been funny. I am hoping I will be writhing more.

We just moved stuff into our apartment on Tuesday, so we have been settling in, but it was not long before we saw some miniature Jello molded to the likeness of San Francisco.

Ninja•Gram

Somedays just suck beyond the telling...

I'm back and I'm proud

I mean Im not just a gay man, I'm a proud gay man,
no... no thats not right either.
I'm not even sure that I am proud...Check it out, Im not even gay.

but I can tell you this.

The women standing behind me wants to touch me in the butt!
HARD!

I can sense these things you know (ninja! duh)

I owe FNFG some posts, but in the meantime

this is CNN.

Ninja Bee Winner

Pirate pride, ninja nay-saying

Thank you Chris for the great article, you can link to the article in its orignal context here.
Kristy in PA sent me this link, we have her to blame.

Pirate pride, ninja nay-saying
By Chris Holt
Opinions Columnist


Alright, that does it. I'm tired of these ceaseless "debates" that are nothing more than one group talking at the other, spewing venom without making any head way. Our campus has been in an uproar over this last week; things have been tenser than a Newsweek editors' meeting.

I'm talking, of course, about the annoying debate between the Ninjas and the Pirates. Last week was the beginning of Ninja Respect Month and also Pirate Pride Week, a scheduling conflict that is equivalent to hosting a presidential address the same night as the World Series.

Although The Daily reported about Ninja Pride Week, the Pirates were remarkably absent in the press. When I went to White Plaza, though, all I saw was Pro-Pirate demonstrations. The Pirates had planned a "Blackpearl Remembrance Day" that happened to coincide with Ninja Week. Both groups held rallies peacefully, but their sentiments were about as peaceful as an A's fan-base.

It all centers on what happened several decades ago. The Pirates and the Ninjas had an altercation that they to this day, are still fighting about. Something about a pirate wench they both claimed, I dunno. She's pretty old now, bruised and rough. But they are still fighting over her.

No, instead of flipping out and killing everyone as an unstoppable partnership that would leave robots, chickens, and robot chickens in fear, they remain divided.

Unfortunately, despite our progressive-minded university's best intentions, no one has curbed this hatred. While both groups speak of "pride" for their group and claim that they want "peace," such statements always preclude bashing the other group. Being pro-Ninja means that you condone Ninja killings of Pirates, or that you are Anti-Piratical. It's them or us. You can't show pride in being a Pirate or a Ninja without then saying how "the Ninjas are yellow-bellied bastards" or "the Pirates lack honor or good hygiene."

The rest of this article can be found here. at the Stanford Daily.

My High School District (Suffolk county) has an Awsome shirt

I didn't see a vagina up-close until I was 18. Today, at 22, I've seen at least seven of them. My name is Jakob Lodwick, and I sell T-shirts.

This may get a little creepy...Grab a snack!

Sorry I have not posted in so long the past couple weeks have been grueling. I may quit.

I will start a Rock-A-Billy band. We will be called Cletis Membrane. Our lyrical forays will be confined to breakfast foods found around the country and sex with loose women. At the height of our fame will eschew huge venues in favor of playing all occasions, including bar Mitzvas all over.

Songs like:
"I'm Gonna Make That Waffle Behave!",
the sultry teaser- "I Won't Be Able To Identify You Later If You Wear That"
the incomparable "This Omelette May Have Socialist Underpinnings"
and the crowd favorite "Blintz On All Fours"....


...will be timeless classics set to the parodying melodies that both 13 year girls and the Beach Boys will agree is ghastly, but endearing.

I will leave Cletis just before tragedy befalls the band, I will not however make it out unscathed: stricken with irreversible damage to my liver and speech patterns.

I am so glad muffin is here. However I am sorry that I was not able to post sooner and show my gratitude, as well as other things that end in "tude". IE my longitude as well as my girthatude.

When is MotoMike going to post?

Quote of the day:
When asked if he could walk with us (instead of making us stop so he could slowly and painfully articulate a question having to do with 50 cents) He pointed to the tree and delivered a loving gaze to a small tree that was busy shading multiple cans of Slitz Malt Liquor...

"Naw..sorry I cant walk wit-choo; I got obligations,"

Not being able to argue with that, Tom handed over the change.

Sin City, should be more about food, less about vengence

Muffin is SO right. With that much vengeance, torture and feverish disemboweling, I thought that there should be a balance. It could be offset with some sweeping shots of large meals splayed out as the fruits for such difficult work.

My pants are gonna teach you some important lessons

Real Ninjas' In Every Bite!

My abilities are ALL impaired today, as well they should be since the amount of alcohol consumed last night will make normal activities challenges for weeks to come. The level of stupidity I have exhibited today is simply scary. Putting on a sweater, getting out of a car, depositing a check all become insurmountable feats. Later, I looked with anxiety at simple tasks before me, just trying to guess how I was going to manage to make it excruciating and painful. They just kept feeding me shots!

More when my brain is slouching less.

My plot to take over ends now!

It has occured to me that I may be too hungry, and too despondent to take over the world just yet. Perhaps a muffin may help.

Plus! Its too HARD! I know you hear what Im saying (and it sounds like waaaHAAAAAA! its hard to make a difference, it just seemed like it would be so easy to change everything to my clever altruistic ideals, but its not, its ...Sniff WAAHHHHHH!)

A Recent muffin craving may have got me down

But I will get up again.

Tommy Manley better post to this blog soon.
or I will HURT him in the FACE!

HARD

awwwwHELL! Dont make me come at you with this pencil.

I dont EVEN give a fuck. I will come at you and throw this pencil down HARD. I will draw parts of your body you aint-EVEN seen in a mirror. I will humiliate you, and you WILL cry.

My plot to take over begins now!

The restaurant staff below our office hiked a beautiful slab of food up the stairs and served it to us (HARD.) This reminded me of the importance of having an intercom linked directly to coffee (and the occasional fruit wedge). While seated and being productive, simply press coffee intercom and friendly personS will get it to you without skipping a beat. Law offices and advertising agencies have this service because they can afford to install such institutions on the premises, We however can make a mighty compromise by affording to work above a coffee shop. Incidentally, coffee shop staff can provide a healthy link to the outside world: assuming they are not pirates. My plan is of course coming together perfectly, I can feel it in my pants. .

Now back to our regularly scheduled melancholy.

Every day would be great, if it was not part of living... so have a nice one A-HOLE!

A-HOLE= ( * )

It smelled of burnt pig parts...

Fueled by fowl smelling chinese food, and no will of my own to live, I have decided to flip the fuck out. Entirely. Too depressed to go through with the drudgery of Seppuku I turned to jazz.

Kick Ass

Testing my Ninja Blogging Skills

Not that Ninjas need to test their skills, that kind of weakness is only for Pirates.

The Four Ninja Food Groups

This site will be about Ninjas, for Ninjas, by Ninjas all in Ninja time.

No Pirates will be allowed!