Eggroll, Bagel, Cookie, Vengeance

The Four Ninja Food Groups

Monday, July 11, 2005

less flipping out, more killing

So the other day, as climbed back up into the tree after a long day of tripping out in between naps, I was greeted by the sight of two of the lil' joey's sitting quietly on their "time out" branches. "What'd they do this time?" I asked. "They were saying 'HIYYYAAA!' in the tree," my mate said. I was shocked. "So What?" I asked. Are you trying to sissify them by crushing their will to flip out?" "No," she replied, "I just want to teach them good values, you know, raise them right."

Damn. That's just lame. I don't like to cramp mama's style, but this was too much. I didn't want to burn the tree down though, so I figured I'd explain my position; you know... elighten her. "OK," I started, "but think ahead. What's gonna happen when a dog, or a pirate, or some vegetarianian comes up to to devour them? Are they supposed to stay chill just because they're in a tree? Doesn't that sorta undermine the whole 'I'm gonna make you go die and not even care' values we are have been working so hard to instill? Did you think of that?"

Then I got a reminder as to why mama tends the joeys.

"Sorry, dear. I didn't realize you were trying to raise samuri. I just figured that if they were announce their intent to destroy to all creation that they would probably reduce the liklihood that they would convert their detructive energies into a proper slaughter. I see your point though. From now on, I won't try to stress precision. I'll just let them bounce around attacking everything that moves, and figure they'll probably land a strike sooner or later."

What was I thinking? It seems I had lost my balance. Is not caring important? Sure. And do we need to flip out and go nuts sometimes, killing all bystanders without even thinking twice about it? Absolutely! But let's not forget the value of stealth, precision, and focus. Sometimes we conquer with the sword, but other times victory is won with some well placed bunji sticks. Man, I gotta hand it to her. She's one heck of a mom.


Blogger H said...

does the reinforcement of the value of focus come through the humiliation of time out? is that it's own lesson in itself? everything's a lesson, everyone a teacher.

6:36 AM  
Blogger Kay-D said...

Classic shit.

3:47 PM  
Blogger fmragtops said...

Wow, what a mom! It reminds me of the time my mom told me, "If you gotta fight someone bigger than you, grab an equalizer. Like a bat or book." Unfortunately I was not raised with a katana, but those twin Colt model 1911's sure came in handy.

9:02 AM  
Blogger Christopher Trottier said...

Now that is one hilarious post. Thank you for sharing. I laughed my ass off.

9:46 AM  
Blogger shelby. said...

this is beautiful. you should listen to your mate, thats how things work. you should influence the flipping out shit, but still let the younglings know that the kill is the main focus. and flipping out is a great stress reliever!!!

2:35 PM  
Anonymous Jennifren said...

Yeh, ditto on yer mate being quite wise & caring with the children. You should listen to her more. Tell her I sed so.

O & remember, not all pirates want to eat ninja babies!

8:30 PM  
Blogger RhyssFen said...


3:17 AM  
Blogger RhyssFen said...

never seen sumthin' like that in that way...

3:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Essential oils, roots and herbs can be used in a variety of ways to promote healthy living and stress relief ball. They are used to create natural remedies for treating ailments common to both people and animals, to add flavor to food, to make perfumes and to create environmentally friendly cleaning products.

You do not have to own a garden to tap into the benefits of plants, roots and herbs. A few herb pots located by a sunny window are enough to get you started. Then, all you need are some essential oils and you are ready to go.

For therapeutic purposes, only the purest oils will do. It is possible to be fooled into thinking that you are purchasing a pure oil. Often, a lesser quality blend of several oils is used to mimic the properties of the pure oil. Blended oils are acceptable for fragrance purposes such as for perfuming a room, but pure oils are a "must" for medicinal purposes.

A reasonable guide to the purity of an essential oil is its price. Pure essential oils are generally more expensive. Common oils such as lavender and geranium are much cheaper than frankincense and carnation oil. It is advisable to become familiar with essential oil prices and then rely on this knowledge when purchasing oils from unfamiliar sources. Keep in-mind that you will generally get what you pay for. A price list from a reputable dealer is a valuable resource when purchasing essentials oils.

Usually, pure essential oils cannot be applied directly to the skin and must be mixed in a base oil to reduce their strength. Base oils such as almond oil or wheatgerm oil are commonly used for this purpose. Base oils are generally derived from seeds, nuts or vegetables and allow you to create essential oil remedies that can be massaged into the skin.

So, what do you need to get started with essential oils and natural remedies?

Without a doubt, Lavender is one of the most useful and desirable oils. Not only does it work wonders on cuts, bruises and burns, it also aids sleep and helps with relaxation.

The Tea Tree and Eucalyptus oils are useful for treating a variety of respiratory ailments. These are excellent for the treatment of colds and coughs. They can be massaged into the chest or burned in an oil burner to help clear the airways and prevent congestion. Tea Tree oil is a natural antiseptic and can be dabbed on cuts, bites and stings. It is often used to treat spots and pimples and when diluted with water, acts as a mouth gargle (keep in-mind it should never be swallowed).

Another basic antiseptic is Geranium oil. With its distinctive perfume and pain relieving properties, it is a necessary inclusion when starting out.

Peppermint oil should also be purchased as it treats digestive complaints and may be used in preparations for freshening breath.

For fragrant perfumes and establishing ambience in a room, buy some Patchouli and Ylang-ylang oils. Often combined in scented candles and air fresheners, a few drops of each in an oil burner creates a wonderfully perfumed home. Orange oil mixed with Cinnamon oil is a lovely winter alternative that evokes seasonal, holiday smells. Besides their perfume qualities, all four of these oils have other properties. Patchouli treats eczema and dandruff. Ylang-ylang is reputed to relieve stress, palpitations and high blood pressure. Orange is used in natural remedies for depression and nervous tension and Cinnamon is excellent for warts and viral infections.

The herbs, Thyme and Rosemary can be grown in pots and used when needed. To create essential oils from herbs, stew some large amounts in pure water, collect the steam and cool it. The oil will rise to the top of the drained water and can be collected with an eyedropper. Alternatively, a "flower still" can be purchased to make the job easier. Thyme and Rosemary are both antiseptics and can be used in skin care preparations. They are also delicious when used in cooking.

Lemon oil and fresh lemons will purify water and, when mixed with honey, are effective remedies for colds and flu. Lemon and white vinegar are highly efficient cleaning agents that can be used for domestic cleaning tasks without damaging the environment. Use white vinegar as a natural disinfectant or mix it with water to clean windows and wooden floors. It is also handy to keep a bottle of white vinegar in your car if you swim in the ocean. It will bring instant relief from jellyfish stings.

Citronella oil is perfect in summer to keep the insects at bay. Another natural repellent is Garlic. Fleas will not bite a dog that has been eating garlic, so a few garlic capsules in the dog food are a cheap solution to your pet's flea problem. A soft collar soaked in Citronella will also do the job.

Garlic also helps to promote a healthy immune system when the weather turns cold and viruses begin to circulate. In fact, most of the oils and herbs listed above are effective in helping to prevent many common winter illnesses.

Whether you are looking for remedies or nature friendly products to use around the house, the oils and herbs suggested above should help get you started. You will be ready to make some healthy changes in your way of life!

stress relief ball

12:16 AM  
Anonymous web tasarım said...

web tasarım web tasarım

1:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...







7:47 AM  
Blogger Thai Chef said...
my website to share Information like a guide book for the foreigner .who crazy Thai food ^-^

please visit there . especially gallery page you will love it lol
and don't forget to sign guest book
Nine thai chef

9:38 PM  
Blogger janice said...

this is beautiful..

hotels lisbona

4:46 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home